Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Simple Pleasures

The beginning of Spring seemed like the perfect time to re-connect with my chosen "word of the year".....simplicity. After Buddy's passing I chose to re-evaluate (for the millionth time) what really is important in life.

It always comes back to the simple stuff.

Like knitting. I never believed in a hundred years that knitting would bring me such peace. Even when Nicole showed me an article which had proved this point I was pretty skeptical. Now I get it. Even better is when someone you love with your whole heart adores what you've created for her.

It's the simple stuff that really does bring me joy.

Like enjoying pretty potted plants that signal new growth and warmer temps.

And celebrating upcoming Fiesta. Man, I love Fiesta. NIOSA, anyone????

And celebrating the return of our renters. This is year #5 that they've been vacationing here for the warmer months. We'll never knock down their home. Those birds are like family now. Even if they do try to dive-bomb at our heads when we walk out the front door.

And hearing my two independent readers sharing with one another a funny excerpt from the books they are reading.

And shooting hoops with my almost-kindergartner.

He was hilarious yesterday....making up his own rules, calling me "Tony Parker" (from the San Antonio Spurs), and calling time-outs for refreshment breaks.

When Trevor told me to do a hustle I was momentarily confused. Until I realized he meant for us to do a huddle. I nearly wet my pants from laughing so hard.

And, ya gotta love a basketball star who stops abruptly in the middle of a game because he spotted a flower to pick for his mommy

Yes, it's those simple things that we are all savoring this Spring as we continue to mourn the loss of our Yorkie. Like spending time with family.

And girlfriends. I have that on the agenda for today and Friday evening. Cannot wait.

Hope you make time to enjoy some simple pleasures today.

Sunday, March 21, 2010


We are back from our ski trip.

It was truly the most amazing family vacation
we've had to date.

Maybe it was the kids' ages.
So much fun. So independent.

So addicted to skiing.
Like daredevils down the mountain.

And snowball fights.

And hot-tubbing outside in the midst of a heavy snowstorm.

And being surprised by the visit from
"Lucky" the Leprechaun on March 17th.

Or maybe it was so amazing for Animesh and I because we chose to savor this vacation just a little bit more.

You see, the day after we arrived we got the call from the vet as we skiied off the chair lift. The kids were in ski school for the day, so it was just Animesh and I on top of the mountain when we got the devastating news.

Our sweet/naughty/precious/loveable Yorkie puppy, Buddy, had died on the table during a routine neutering. He was just a few days shy of celebrating his 6-month birthday.

Animesh and I fell apart. We continued to ski, but we did so with heavy hearts and tear-stained faces.

The rest of the day was a blur.

Each day that followed was a little easier for Animesh and I. Let's face it...denial is a convenient coping mechanism. On our return flight home yesterday he and I choked up a dozen times on the plane at each mention of Buddy's name by the kids. We chose to wait to tell them until after the ski trip. So this morning after we all woke up, Animesh broke the news.

We piled into our bed, and we all cried. Hard. Our time was too short with sweet Buddy. There are no explanations as to why his little body couldn't handle the anesthesia.

We have no answers.

But, we have a short amount of sweet memories to cling to. Like Deven nicknaming Buddy "Mr. Naughty-Pants." And "Mr. Stinker-roonie." And how Buddy would nip at Trevor's tennis shoes every single morning before school. And how Buddy loved to snuggle with Priya at night while she fell asleep. And how Buddy would get so excited whenever he would greet one of us in the morning. Or when we got home after being gone for a long while.

So for now, we are heartbroken. This afternoon I will retrieve our almost-13-year-old beagle, Spridle, from boarding at the vet.

I will also have in hand Buddy's ashes so that we can say good-bye...just like we did with Kirby. We will sprinkle those ashes and send our love messages up to Buddy in balloons...just as we did with Kirby....nearly 2 years ago to the day. Just plain eerie.

We will frame a picture of Buddy. And place it next to Kirby's picture. And we will continue to remember them in our nightly bedtime prayers when we list each family member.

Time will undoubtedly heal the heartache.

But we will never forget you, Buddy-boy. Never.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

And We're Off....

It's finally here. Spring Break. I think I was more relieved than the kids were yesterday when I picked them up from school.

The suitcases are packed (ok...they are overflowing!), the carry-ons are brimming with airplane activities, and the camera is charging.

Bright and early Monday morning we are snow-bound for some skiing, sledding, snowman-making, and hot-chocolate-drinking.

We cannot wait.

I learned to ski as a kid where I was blessed enough to have learned in Europe when my dad was stationed in Germany. Animesh learned in his late 20s, and we've had some amazing ski trips together before the 3 little Indians joined our family. Animesh is more cautious on the slopes than I am, but he absolutely loves it. And the kids? This is their first time ever. It's going to be awesome to see how they respond and what they can do.

Hopefully they'll love skiing as much as Animesh and I do.

Hope ya'll enjoy your time off (if it's your break). I know that while I'm giddy about spending time in the snow I'll be ready to head back home to the warmth that will (hopefully) be awaiting us deep in the heart of Texas.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Perfectly Unperfect--A Week of Worthiness

A couple of months ago I began to learn how to knit. Actually, my sweet neighbor had tried to teach me last year, but as soon as she left my house that afternoon I managed to screw up the scarf beyond repair (or so I thought), and so I promised myself I would never, ever try to knit again.

But in January another girlfriend began a knitting group...The Rip-It Sisters. I had no idea what that title had to do with knitting until I began to knit a project. Which ended up in me ripping it out a dozen times when my mistakes became too numerous to ignore. It's safe to say that I'm quite familiar with ripping out my knitting work....and I embody the "rip-it sisters" title to the fullest.

At one point, however, I became weary of trying to correct every little mistake. I was tired of finding someone to fix my blunders. I simply began to enjoy being in the zone...knitting my scarf with as much concentration and care as I could muster at a particular time (depending on the number of kid-related interruptions). Knitting finally became enjoyable to me once I stopped trying to make it absolutely perfect.

And once I finished my "scarf"...which ended up looking more like an apron or a cape by the time I was through with it...I actually loved what I had mistakenly created.

Deven loved it so much he asked me to tie strings on it so that he could wear it. My heart burst with love as he claimed my very imperfect project as his own.

Even if/when Deven abandons this piece of knitting disaster in the future, I plan on keeping it always. Framing it perhaps. Because to me it symbolizes what I am all about. Perfectly unperfect. Full of holes and flaws. Like the top of the cape, I am sometimes narrow (minded) in my thinking about me as a person. Like the bottom of the cape, my heart and mind are sometimes so open wide and full of love for myself and who I am. And sometimes I'm stuck right in the middle. Kind of liking who I am. Kind of being okay with my imperfections. But still wishing they would go away and that I could be perfect like other people seem to be.

This week I'm joining Brene Brown as she celebrates the release of her new DVD. I'm celebrating this Week of Worthiness. I'm going to celebrate myself and who I am, in spite of my imperfections, holes, and mess-ups. God knows I'm not perfect yet thinks of me as one of His most precious possessions. Why in the world would I want to argue with God about how He feels where I'm concerned?

I'm 40 years old now and still struggling with feeling as if I'm good enough. Good enough wife. Good enough mom. Good enough Christian. Good enough friend. Good enough Girl Scout leader. Good enough _____________!

Yep. Still working on feeling as if I am enough. Still working on feeling a sense of belonging in certain groups of people. But this week I'm going to be mindful of these wise and inspirational words from Brene:

"Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough.

It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging.

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do."

I've begun a new knitting project. Priya requested a scarf. It's already got a pretty big hole in it...but I've discovered a way of embellishing so that the hole will be disguised.

And the best part about it? Priya won't even care about the hole.

So, why should I?