Mountaintop Experience

I spent this weekend away from my family, but I wasn't at a spa or on a shopping spree (although these are sounding quite tempting...). Once (sometimes twice) a year I attend this amazing Christian "retreat" of sorts here in Boerne...and there's absolutely nothing quite like it. The theme is always different, but the mainstay is always the rainbow. This beautiful rainbow shot was taken outside my house in April. My faith has always played an important role in my life, especially after having children, but each time I experience one of these weekends I am drawn even closer to God and am reminded of how blessed I truly am.

Great Expectations

Deven James...2 days old on May 7, 2003

Most of the time this title is used when referring to a pregnant woman...she's "expecting" a child. Right from the start this sets moms up for years of stress and pressure. After the "expectant" mom brings the baby home, the expectations just keep on whirling around in her mind (at least they did for me). Oh, the dreams and aspirations we have for our kids? Will my child be a doctor or a flight attendant? Will he/she want to work in a high-powered business or at Walmart?

It's not enough that I have such high hopes and dreams for my children; then I did something crazy (but not unheard of) and formulated high hopes and dreams for myself as a mother...baking from scratch every single treat that is delivered to school, never letting laundry pile up, providing tasty, nutritious meals 3 times a day while teaching my children how to cook, taking the kids on educational outings every week, etc., etc., etc. My husband jokes (although I don't think he's joking...) that I don't meet him at the door with a glass of wine for him and the children dressed and the house picked up and the aroma of fresh, baked bread greeting his nostrils when he steps inside. I laugh hysterically at the thought now, but early on I thought this was an attainable goal.

I am well into the great book I mentioned a couple days ago, and I have found something to belly-laugh or sob about on each page. This book is about me, and I am so comforted knowing that I'm not alone. This hilarious piece of reading material is enlightening me to the fact that mothers put way too much pressure on themselves and that we sometimes have an unrealistic image of what a "good" mom is. We also secretly (or not so secretly) compare ourselves to other moms who seem to "have it all together."

And, while most don't admit it, a lot of times we feel alone. And, let's not even start DISCUSSING the guilt. It can be oppressive.

I've decided that I'm going to formulate some new indicators that reveal how good a mother I am. Things like how much my kids laugh, love, and play, & respect others--which, thankfully, are already quite a bit. It doesn't mean I still won't lose it on occasion or want to run away some days. It will probably be a LOOOONNG process, but losing the urge to be the kind of mom everyone else SEEMS to be is going to be such weight lifted off. Thank goodness, because I am always trying to shed a few extra pounds.

R & R

A couple of weeks ago we returned from the best vacation. The beaches in Destin, Florida are unparalleled, and we had the most relaxing get-away. Check out how much fun we had!

Note to self...

I told myself that after I started this blog I would always carry my new, smaller camera (a snappy little point and shoot number that is not only shock-proof but WATERPROOF!). Not surprisingly I ran out of the house today without it. As luck would have it, I wished I had it handy during our jaunt to Barnes & Noble. I followed the kids (who were sprinting from "boring" Starbucks) into the children's section and followed them around until they chose their one special book. As we were making our way to the check-out line, a catchy title caught my eye--"I Was Really a Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood." Hmmm. Glancing at the back cover was the clincher. The authors told me I needed to add this to my pile of purchases if I a) consider going to the dentist my special "alone time," b) I reflexively refer to the bathroom as "the potty," and c) I'm competitive about winning Chutes and Ladders.

Sold. As my heart leapt with excitement about starting this book, I glance down at my 2-year-old (adorable photo above) who is downing my Grande Cinnamon Dolce Latte (nonfat, sugar-free, no whip) at lightning speed while looking up at me with those luscious eyelashes and then whispering, "Yum." Where was my camera?! Yep, I am a modern mom in desperate need of this title...after thumbing through it I am certain that this book was written for this honorary Indian...I mean, who wouldn't love a book with dirty little secrets from moms such as, "I don't know how to ask for help. I just know how to scream at my husband."?

Lean On Me

Yesterday my friend, Dawn, and I flew to Dallas for the day to visit Vanessa, who has been in the hospital on bed rest "cooking" her twin boys. We're not ready for them to arrive yet, so the nurses keep a close eye on her to make sure Jack and Nate stay put for a few more weeks.

Vanessa, Dawn, and I have been friends for over 20 years since our big-hair, drama-filled high school days. We've been through so much together, and it's so cool to hang with those who know and understand you...sometimes better than your spouse. Let's face it, there's nothing quite like your girlfriends!

Yesterday was filled with a million laughs and even more girl talk-- we are so glad that Dawn's beautiful 2-month old, Harrison, isn't old enough to share. He got an earful!

Let the fun begin!

Inspired by so many friends who have started blogs recently, I thought to myself, "Why the heck not?" So what if no one reads it or my posts are shared by total strangers across the globe or I am lame and don't post things for weeks/months/years on end? I am doing this for myself...and the 3 little Indians (more on them later)....and that's good enough, right? I've got to get over this overwhelming urge to please other people. I'm sure none of you out there struggle with THAT problem...

About the 3 little Indians...well, they're our precious offspring. My husband is Indian-- of course the only thing Indian about him is his blood and his name. He eats so much red meat that his ancestors are raising from the dead crying out, "What about the sacred cow?!" So, our kids are only HALF Indian, but I thought the title 3 little Indians was appropriate for this blog since most of the posts and photos will center around them--they are just so darn cute and SO MUCH FUN!

Look forward to seeing you around the web...let the fun begin!