Chaos, Continuity, and Crossroads

CHAOS

Have you ever had one of those mornings? A morning filled with chaos? Please...tell me I'm not the only one. Today I did...it was one of those days when the very first hour had me cleaning up dog vomit, sending a preschooler to time-out, trying like heck to persuade a first-grader he needed to go to school, and dragging a second-grader out of bed for what seemed like 30 minutes. Three cups of coffee later I was exhausted. At it was only 7am. Regardless, I was still semi-motivated to get going on the extensive to-do list that was calling my name. I was celebrating because ahead of me awaited a kid-free day with oodles of time to get things accomplished.

Or so I thought.

After many bribes and lots of persuasion...I ended up at home with my first-grader. He wasn't sick. He felt fine. Daddy told him in his authoritative tone that he needed to go to school. But the intuitive "mommy voice" in me said otherwise. I sensed that something else was going on. Later today I discovered what that was.


Oh, you might be wondering what my 2010 word of the year-- "simplicity"--and our brand new Yorkie puppy might have in common.




Absolutely nothing.

The first week I actually felt as though I had a newborn in the house again (egads!). Buddy woke us each morning at 3am with what was at first an adorable little yap. It quickly morphed into an annoying, loud yap. But, that yap was his way of communicating he had some business to tend to, so for that yap we are very grateful. And now we are all (for the most part) sleeping through the night. Again...so very grateful.

Nothing simple about potty-training a puppy.

But enjoyable nonetheless. This little furball has become my companion...following me everywhere around the house and providing endless entertainment for our family (well, Spridle would beg to differ...). He has no fear of his older, larger beagle brother--or the rest of us for that matter. Steals Spridle's food. Bullies his way into Spridle's bed...while Spridle is laying in it! Runs away from us when he's caught with yet another Power Ranger toy clamped between his teeth.

But we absolutely adore him. Enter Chaos exhibit A.
















CONTINUITY

Back to the Deven issue. After letting Animesh know that it was ok with me for Deven to skip school today, Deven and I chatted over breakfast. His answers to my questions were benign. Nothing was wrong. No one had been mean to him. No one had made fun of him. He liked the long-term sub he had (his teacher is out on maternity leave...left on December 4th and won't return til mid-March).

Ah-ha!

His teacher emailed him (via me) today...telling him that she missed him and that she got his letter that had been delivered to her before Christmas. In that letter he had asked why his class needed to have 2 different subs. He also asked how her new baby was doing. But most importantly he asked when she would be returning. Upon further discovery I found out from Deven that he's missing his teacher desperately and not adapting to the changes as well as I thought he was. Continuity is so important for all of us. In nursing the theme was all about "continuity of care"...meaning that all patients were treated equally and in the same manner...and by the same health care professional for as long as possible. Deven is craving the same thing. I spoke with his former Kinder teacher (whom I adore) and she agreed that this was most definitely a common issue. I was so glad I kept him home...so that he knew I acknowledged his concerns and his feelings.

I was especially glad when I captured this moment on film after I went searching for Deven and Buddy after a prolonged amount of silence in the house this morning.

Precious.




After a relaxing day of nothing-ness at home, Deven is ready to return to school.

After all, don't we all need a "mental health" day once in awhile?



CROSSROADS

I have found myself at a crossroads many, many times in my life. In my work. In my academic career. And in relationships.

After nearly 40 years on this earth, I'm still wondering why it hurts so much when encountering a crossroads in a relationship can lead to such pain and a sense of loss. Not too long ago I found myself at a crossroads...and I made the decision I didn't think I would ever make.

I made the decision to leave that relationship behind.

When I've invested so much in getting to know someone, caring for someone, and then learning that the other person didn't feel the same way about me...well...it hurts like a son-of-a-gun.

But, I know my "almost-40-year-old-self" to know that this experience won't prevent me from putting myself out there. Call it a blessing or call it a curse... but I'm a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and advertises herself as an open book.

Some are offended. Some are turned off. But those who have been attracted to me and my being real have stuck around and impacted my life in a big way.

And that's great with me.

I am who I am. Love me or leave me.

Or, as my favorite quote says:

"Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind."

Well said, Dr. Seuss. Well said.