Overcome

It's early...Priya's last day of school, and I'm taking her to breakfast before I drop her off. Just mother and daughter. Just the girls.

Afterwards, I'm headed to the lake for a "dry run" triathlon. Yep, going to attempt the full distances for all 3 events. One right after the other. It'll be tough. My body is tired. And, not just physically. I'm emotionally spent. Overcome with emotion.

You see, yesterday wiped me out. Sure, I was running from one place to the other, but that's a usual day for me. It was the emotions coursing through my veins that took its toll on me. One of those days where all I wanted to do was cry. And, I pretty much did.

After I swam very early at the gym yesterday morning, I met Daddy and the boys at preschool for Deven's graduation. Pictures to follow soon, but my sweet Deven in his graduation cap--saying the pledge to the American flag, Texas flag, Christian flag, and the Bible--was too much for me. And, then when he sang AND did all the sign language motions? I about lost it. But, what pushed me over the edge was when Deven's teachers both cried as we bid our fond farewells. I knew in the deepest part of my heart that they love Deven almost as much as I do. And, to think I was worried about leaving our beloved preschool in San Antonio.

Noon found me helping other kinder parents setting up the kinder end-of-year party...a water day extravaganza complete with wading pools, water balloons, bouncy castle, and snow cone machine. I was lucky enough to be one of the snow cone makers, and I had a tummy ache to prove I sampled almost all of the flavors. FUN. I gave Priya's teacher her gift...very unceremoniously as I was rushing out to get a snow cone machine tutorial...and tears formed in her eyes. She, in return, gave me a "thank you" gift for room parenting. But, the clincher? The unbelievable letter she sent home with the kids. I bawl every time I read it.

I whisked Priya from school and we headed to Trevor's program. He didn't take a nap that day in class...and his UNparticipation in the the singing program was quite evident. He sat at the table with his head in his hands the entire time. Which sent me into a fit of giggles. So very much a Trevor-esque thing to do. Trevor's teachers are so loving and kind, and they were appreciative of their gifts. But, the clincher? One of his teachers gave ME a gift...a little "atta girl" gift in honor of the upcoming triathlon. I couldn't believe it...such kindness extending beyond the kids and pouring out onto a mom who very much needed an "atta girl" at that moment.

Yesterday I realized something that I haven't wanted to face till now. I am not my kids' only influence. There are other wonderful, loving, talented, kind humans out there helping us shape our children, and they care for them deeply. Sure, families form the strong foundation, but there will come a time when that foundation has set. And, the building materials provided for the rest of their lives may not be materials their parents have so lovingly, protectively, controlling-ly provided. Thanks be to God for the loving influences my kids have had this year in their classes.

Never before have I felt this way after a school year has ended. Sure, it's always bittersweet...kids growing up, getting older, maturing. But, this time it's different. My heightened sense of awareness about how quickly my precious 3 little Indians are growing makes me want to stop the hands of time, hold them tight, and never let them go. I want them to stay little forever.

Since that's not possible, I will relish the laziness of summer and spend as much time with them as I can without going crazy. And, try to capture these moments in my head and heart forever and for always.

Nobody told me this mothering stuff would be so hard. Or, so rewarding.