Becoming a Mother

I know. I know. I've been MIA lately. I thought long and hard about what to post about...what to say...what to report on...

I thought briefly about sharing in great detail the fun Girls' Night Out we enjoyed a couple weeks ago (the chocolate martini seen above was amazing...as was all of the FOOD!).

I thought about doing a "Not Me Monday" post...because confession is always refreshin'.


I guess I could have shared with you all 138 pictures I took on our annual trek to the area pumpkin patch. Instead, here's la familia. Yes, we are wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts. No, you never know what the weather will be like in San Antonio in October.

But, really, I wanted to post about this adorable, sweet little girl.

Today, Monday, October 20th, our Priya turns 7. It's so terribly bittersweet. On one hand I can barely recall when I held her in my arms (all night long between the ages of 0 and 4 months!!). On the other, it seems like just yesterday when she entered the world...changing mine forever.

These days I talk to a lot of friends about our preconceived notions on becoming a mother. When I was pregnant I remember being so focused on what we would name our child (Priya is an Indian name meaning "beloved."). I remember the baby showers and the clothes. OH! Those GIRLY CLOTHES! I remember shopping for the crib bedding, the stroller, the sweet little socks and shoes, the endless clip-on bows for the hair.

What people don't tell you is that while yes, those things are such a fun component of having a child, it's not reality. No one tells you about the spelling tests to come, or the potty-training, or the attitudes, or how hard it is to get a child out of bed in the morning, or the fight to get them to eat veggies, or the worries I have about the influences that she will encounter outside the safe-haven of our home. No one tells you how hard it is to send your child off to kindergarten, or the first-ever sleepover. No one tells you that as hard as you may try, we cannot protect them from all of the ickiness and hurt that one can experience in the world.

Most people don't share how agonizing it is to watch your child fall ill. Or how exhilarating it is to watch your child excel, whether it be in school or at swimming. Or how heart-warming it is to watch your first-born love and protect her younger brothers with a fierceness that almost compares to mine.

As a fellow first-born child I want to beg Priya now to forgive me for the mistakes I have made and for the mistakes that I will undoubtedly make in the future. I want to share with her how proud of her I am, how much love is in my heart since she joined our family, and how I will always be here for her--no matter what. I want to affirm who she is as...exactly as she is...and help instill a confidence in her that won't be shaken when she is tested.

On this, Priya's 7th birthday, I think I'll do all of these things. And, just like I've been trying so hard to do in the last 7 years, I'll continue to do them the best I can until the day I draw my last breath.

Happy, happy birthday, my sweet Priya Lynn. We love you to the moon and back. Forever and ever.