Reflection

I am not much of a collector. My mother has a trillion collections...Lladros & Hummels (expensive European figurines), angels, baskets, etc. I remember watching her dust them, and I told myself that I would never go down that route. Because I despise dusting. Which is probably why I hired someone else to dust for me.

One thing I can never have too many of, however, are candles. I burn one (or more) every day. Yes, every single day. I have 3 going right now in different rooms. It's not only a way to disguise "the dogs haven't bathed in a month" odor, but it also symbolizes 2 things for me: peace and hope. Peace in the sense that there is something so calming about soft candlelight illuminating a space--any space. Hope in the sense that deep inside each of us is the capability of being candles-- lights in this sometimes dim world. Light for our spouses & friends. Light for the grouchy store clerk and the tired postman. Light for the stranger standing on the street corner. Light to other moms. And, especially, light for our children.

Speaking of candle-like reflections....I had many opportunities for reflection of my own yesterday. My mom underwent what is hopefully her last procedure to relieve severe arm & shoulder pain, and I kept Dad company in the waiting room. I reveled in the quiet while driving to and from the hospital...thinking, pondering, and analyzing...a far cry from my usual solo drives when my Ipod is blaring at a dangerously high level. In the spirit of the beautiful list that Maile made on her 33rd birthday (and to mimic the reflections Oprah shares in the last pages of her magazine) , I compiled my own "things I know for sure," in case you're interested:

1. I really love spending time with my dad.

2. Like Maile, I realize I will never be the perfect parent.

3. However, we are ALL the perfect parents for the children we've been given.

4. I am not able to change other people, but I am capable of changing myself.

5. No matter how many mistakes I think my mother made in raising us, she did the
best she could with what she knew. And, she loves us the best way she knows how.

6. When I am true to myself, I am a good mom.

7. Making mistakes is a part of parenting. We all make mistakes. No one is
perfect.

8. Nothing drains me more than comparing myself to other mothers.

9. I must try harder to live the lessons I am trying to teach my kids: be a whole, well-rounded individual, filled with self-care and self-respect.

10. Saving something for a "special day" or occasion means that I don't value each
and every day as I should.

Have a great weekend. For a change, we have absolutely nothing planned. But, you can think of us at dinner time as we eat our hot dogs on the wedding china we have used only once. Because today is special enough to use it. Today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.